Aria's Story
by anacat
Summary: Set years before Graceling. Aria is Graced and under the influence of a flamboyant king, she questions her purpose until she meets someone who finally understands her. But is he all he appears to be? When Sunder is at the brink of war, will Aria sacrafise all she is to save thousands of innocent people from a ruler set to abuse the limits of her Grace? Shall she ever be free?
1. A Stranger in the Mirror

'Hold my hand' I say to Oriona. My dress so heavy as I stand that my knees still buckle slightly under its dense fabric even with Oriona's support. I turn and look at the shimmering figure in front of me, and sigh. Looking over my shoulder disappointedly I found more of this figure, her hair brown and glossy, her dress long and flowing, everywhere I look I see her and her jewelled dress. It was a cascade of orange, gold and red. I look her down and slowly my gaze rises to meet her eyes, the eyes of a strange being. Today the left was sunset orange and the other a sweet red, but tomorrow they may become a soft sea blue and purple, or grass green and lemon yellow. I might consider them beautiful if I hadn't seen the dull, unanimated face of a young woman, but not a woman. No matter what they tell me, I will never see myself as grown-up.

I am sixteen, today in fact. Yet I still see the face of the child, the frightened face of a child who's woken up from their dream, wanting comfort only to find that their nightmares were real; and instead of comfort they get praise and admiration for the horrors of the world they've woken into. 'You look beautiful Aria.' I hear Oriona whisper to my back. In the mirror I see her weak smile, one that holds back the feelings that I don't like to see. Of course I look beautiful; I was here to look beautiful. If only beauty was more than just looks. I have plenty of internal beauty, my personality is beautiful but no-one seems to want to know me for the beauty of my mind. They came for the beautiful nature of my Grace. I have no ordinary Grace. While some are Graced with swimming, dancing or singing, I am Graced with emotions. Not a physical Grace or a practical Grace, my Grace is simply for entertainment. I can radiate any emotion I please to people, and as my mood changes so do my eyes. I can make one man feel happy and another man feel sad, for no obvious reason. I can trigger the deepest darkest feelings in people. Some wonder what uses my Grace has for the king, but isn't it obvious. I am used for show. Look but don't touch is the King's way with his guests. I am an item, not a person.

'Lady, the king has asked that you wear this to the gala tonight.' I turn; glad to take my eyes off the blinding glow of my full, fiery dress. I will never understand the King's want to turn my chambers into a giant jewellery box. Every wall of this room either is a mirror or it contains one. My furniture is either velvet, suede or satin and most of it, if not all of it is jewelled. Does he find pleasure in knowing that everywhere I look I see not myself buy an empty being, one with no real purpose. What role do I play in my life?

I notice a small velveteen box held elegantly in Oriona's patient hands, as if it itself were the treasure to be given. 'What is this Oriona?' I say, not attempting to hide the surprise in my tone. Oriona's eyes widen at the feeling. She too was now curious to see what the box contained. I curse my carelessness. 'Your gift from the king.' At that moment Oriona unlatched the box gently and revealed a thin lavish circlet. I gasp at its workmanship. Tiny swirls and jewels weaved together in a ring to create the circlets main structure, and then many other broader swirls accented with larger jewels finished off the complex design. It shone like the sun in the light of the room. 'Oriona it's incredible.' I run my fingers along its delicate surface, feeling its intricate folds and layers. I look up briefly and see the same look of amazement in Oriona's soft grey eyes. 'The king said it was to match your radiance.' I tore my eyes from the circlet and looked sharply up at her. How dare the king bring me such a gift and then compare it to what he sees on the outside of me. When will he see I despise what people think of me, or what they think they know of me. 'But-' Oriona cut into my thoughts quickly, no doubt sensing my sudden anger. 'I think it matches the meaning of what it is to be Aria. Admired but never valued, at least not by those who don't wish to see its worth.' I stare at Oriona suddenly, wondering how she manages to understand me so well, her voice so soft her words trickled like a stream in my thoughts. But even then her support is limited for the power of my Grace can overwhelm her so easily. It's hard not to have my guard down with her, she's my friend. Maybe my only one true friend. I want to say thank you but then I remember my purpose here tonight. I'm here to make the King's entire guests feel welcome. Quite literally.

'Shall I put it on you Lady?' She asked rhetorically for I had already bowed my head for her to place it gently onto my decorative bed of hair. It didn't help the weight issue I was already having with my garment, but still it was fairly light. This time I did say it. 'Thank you Oriona. What would I do without you?' I watched her smile warmly. She was grateful, as was I. 'Shall we be going now Lady?' She held out her hand again as I stole another glance at the wall of mirrors that was my bed chambers. 'Yes. We may as well get this night over with.' I say with a displeasure that could curdle milk. It really did bring out my radiance, I curse the king's keen eye for treasures. And with that we both strode out of my largely extravagant bed chambers into the emptiness that was the corridor.


	2. A Touch of Kindness

'Ah welcome my little phoenix feather!' The King's tone was cheery with delight. He took my hands in his and held my gaze. 'You look undefinable.' His smile was large though hidden by his light grey beard. I could feel his enthusiasm, not only that but I could see it in his eyes. Pale like the winter months yet ten times as sharp as an icicle when he wanted them to be. He loved to refer to me as something unique, something special. Only because no-one else had someone quite like me. 'I see you've already taken to my gift. How do you like it?' I pressed down my obvious feelings to seclusion. I cannot risk the King knowing of my true feelings for his gift, for all his gifts to me, for even his presence caused my anger to scream. But I would not grant it its freedom. 'It's beautiful.' I half-whisper to him, my voice soothing his face with its warmth and gratitude.

Some might say I'm a good actress for I practically live inside a theatrical play, yet others may call me a deceiver for hiding my true thoughts from my king. I am neither. I am simply a girl avoiding the worst of the storm that is my life. 'Ah, I knew you'd love it. I saw it and thought of you.' He took my arm loosely and walked me a little further down the corridor. I could sense his misplacement of thoughts, he wanted to tell me something but was looking for a specific way to tell me. 'As you know this is your sixteenth birthday party, and I want you to enjoy yourself. But stay near me at all times, I don't want any unexpected drama.' I knew he was referring to people who saw Gracelings as the outcasts and frightening beings they were. Once again I would be his little show-and-tell piece, where guests would look but not touch me, for I am priceless. The thought would have made me shiver if I wasn't cautious of my emotions. 'But I'd also like to speak with you privately afterwards. Nothing terrible, just a little talk.'

A talk? What else could he possibly have to say to me. I won't dwell on the subject for it might cause unnecessary tension. 'However now I have to leave you and get the guests all warmed up for your grand entrance.' His eyes were as eager as his words. My grand entrance, just another excuse for people to stop and stare at me, wondering whether to applaud or flee. 'Goodbye, my Lord.' The words crumble from my lips as his hands fall from mine and he slips away like the mists in spring.

I turn to Oriona who had been standing neatly behind me the whole time since the King's appearance. 'He will never understand me.' I whisper to her. She walked over to me slowly, obviously not wanting the King to just barge back in and push her aside as he normally did when I was around. 'What do you think he wants to talk to you about?' Her curiousness stirred some suspicion in my mind. 'I'm not sure, no doubt another party he wishes me to attend for one of his many acquaintances or friends.' My dry tone gave her some reassurance. 'You really do look beautiful.' Her eyes held tightly to my gaze.

She did try sometimes to make me feel better, some days I'd go along with it but today wasn't a day for my comfort. 'But not much more than yourself Oriona.' She blushed and looked down at her simple blue gown, suddenly distracted from her previous thoughts. She ran a hand down it awkwardly. I could see she felt almost bare stood next to me wearing something so simple, but the king would not allow anyone to out-shine me. I wish he would. Oriona would shine so brightly in one of my deep purple dresses. I want to make her feel better but refrain from using my grace. She deserved real empathy.

I touch the simple silver chain around my neck. I had forgotten I was wearing it. It is one of my favourite pieces of jewellery, simple yet beautiful. An idea floods me. I remove it quickly and hold it out to Oriona. The surprise on her face is palpable. I gesture for her to turn around; assuring her it's ok to wear. 'Understated elegance, it matches the meaning of what it is to be Oriona.' A wave of affection embraces me, the very words she had used on me. So this is what true gratitude felt like. Oriona turned around a new light in her eyes. 'Thank you Lady.' She whispers to me as if her feelings are a secret so treasured she only wishes to share it with me. 'You are most welcome.' A silence fills the moment, but not the empty kind, this silence was perfect, filled with a seemingly lost joy.

A young messenger boy scuttled along the corridor hurriedly. 'Lady Aria, the king wishes you at your entrance doors immediately.' There was urgency in his voice, but not from his message, from the fact he's had to speak his message to me. Some people will never get used to Gracelings and I cannot say I am not one of them. I will never accept myself for who I am. 'Thank you.' I say politely to the boy before he skitters away as fast as he'd come –if not faster. I turn to Oriona. 'It seems my time has come.' I say wryly. She giggles quietly almost to herself. 'I shall see you on the other side.' She returned my humour, gave me a nod farewell and flowed slowly down the corridor. I on the other hand stride broadly, which is very bad indeed. I don't want to get there on time, or at all, but I think better when I'm moving fast, I cannot begin to explain why.

I arrive in front of the grandeurs double doors. I take a breath as the two footmen dressed in green take hold of the door handles. Then suddenly as if the air's stopped, my heart skips as the doors open to reveal a new light.


	3. The Lost Paper

'The Lady Aria!' I hear the King blare proudly. In the light I am blind, but gently my eyes adjust and standing before me is a sea of people. I suddenly feel scared, frozen in my place, all eyes on me. The king pulls at my arm impatiently. I snap out of my trance and dazzle the crowd with my smile. I feel a sharp elbow stick into my side. The king was being very pushy. 'Welcome all to my sixteenth birthday party. It's a delight to know you've all come.' I say smoothly thinking to myself: every last one of you. 'Yes, yes. Now that we have all the formalities over and done with let the festivities begin!' The crowd applauded generously for the king. I could sense his tension, but I am clueless to why he is so stressed. He seemed fine a few minutes ago.

An orchestra started playing as the King whisked me away. 'Nicely done.' He said shortly. 'Now I have someone who'd like to meet you.' I didn't like the sound of that, not at all. 'Who, my lord?' I ask, not letting the fires of my curiosity burn through. If he was trying to find me a suitor, then he had another thing coming. He didn't respond to my answer but continued to lead me towards a group of well-dressed men. One of whom I recognise to be wearing the crest of Estill. 'My Lords I'd like to introduce to you my Graceling, Aria.' Once again he is here to show me off. It's not about my birthday at all, today is just another day where I am on show for the world to admire and be jealous of the king for having me. 'It's a pleasure to meet you.' One of the shorter men said to me, extending a hand in my direction. I let him take it and briefly hold it up in greeting. 'As it is to meet you, Lord…?'

'Saret, my Lady and these are Lords Ruran, Derl, and Hapim.' The other men nodded in acknowledgement of me. Saret was the one wearing the crest of Estill. 'Will you mind my Lady if we speak to the king privately for a moment?' I looked from Saret to the King. He nodded subtlety at me to signal his permission. 'Of course not, please, do go ahead.' Saret smiled in thanks and followed the king as he lead them towards a private meeting hall.

To be honest I was glad to be away from the king for one moment. With so many people around me it was hard to breath, they looked at me as if to say so what are you good for? I had no answer to their gazes. I walked smoothly towards the open terrace, the night was young and the stars as irridecent as ever. The gardens stood before me, open and anticipating the moment I would walk across them and fill them with feeling. I almost found myself tip-toeing over the fresh green grasses that lined the edges of the garden's flower beds. A soft breeze rolled a chain of leaves across the stone embellishments that were dotted around the gardens. Something big and rectangular clung itself to the folds of my dress. I picked it up to find it was a page of a book. I turn to find its source and see that a few spans away from me on the other side of the hedges a young man was frantically trying to catch a flying assortment of pages identical to the one in my hands.

'Here you go.' I say startling the man slightly. I held out the page I had found along with a few that had I had come across on my way here. His surprise turned to relief when he saw the pages fluttering in my hand. 'Thank you.' He said with gratitude.

'May I ask what happened?' I ask out curiosity as he returned to the floor to pick up the last few bits that flew past. 'You may although I'm sorry to say it's nothing exciting. I simply dropped my papers and the wind blew them everywhere.' His tone was grey, but not at me for once, this man was being grey towards his papers, for flying away. Amazement flowed through me, yet the man felt nothing, he was still handling his papers and brushing himself off. He hadn't even looked at me properly. 'Sounds a little unfortunate, can I help in any way?' He stopped and looked at me a little dazed. When he saw me his eyes widened. 'Oh no Lady, you needn't trouble yourself, I have most of them now. Really you needn't worry about me.' I was confused; he was flustered at the sight of me being a woman of the court but not at the sight of my eyes. The eyes of a Graceling. 'Ok, can I ask why you were out here in the first place, the festivities are inside.' I found myself sounding friendly and warm towards this stranger. 'I might ask you the same question Lady. Why do you not enjoy your own party?' His answer took me by surprise.

'You know it's my party?' He seemed almost amused at my tone.

'Of course, who doesn't know the Lady Aria? You are quite famous from where I come from. Although I'm sure you wouldn't be happy with what you are famous for.' He saw the look of puzzlement on my face, asking him to elaborate. 'They say that you are graced with emotions, and that you use your powers to take over those who watch you. They say you can make a man go mad over guilt of nothing he did, and that you can make even the most agreeable man turn sour.' He looked at me calmly as if the words he spoke were the mere ashes of their meaning. 'Do you believe I can do such things?' I say, waving farewell to the first person who did not care for the fact that I was Graced. 'No, I don't believe everything I'm told. Anyway if you could do such things would I be here now, speaking of these things to you at this moment?'

'I guess not.' I liked his tone, calm and soothing, it took me by surprise. He really meant what he said. He didn't fear or admire me for my Grace and I liked him for it. 'You still haven't answered my question, of why you're not at your own party.' His smile was accepting and warm.

'I suppose you could say that sometimes I get a little tired of myself, of hearing people talk about me everywhere I walk. Then you could also say that I'm anxious of my own guests. There's just too many of them.' That seemed to make him laugh a little. I sat down on a smooth stone bench as I absorbed his gaze on me. 'I see sometimes you wish you could just be invisible, not have to look at yourself or have other look at you.' I look up at him almost in shock.

'That's exactly how I feel. Are you sure you're not Graced with emotions also?' I had intended the humorous nature of my wording. He laughed properly this time and sat on the grass opposite me organising the pile of papers on his lap. 'I can assure you I have no such Grace.' He said with a lightness that made me smile. I couldn't help but notice his eyes which were both a chestnut brown, a soft brown that reminded me of the consistency of fresh cream. 'So what is the reason for so many papers?' I ask now a little more freely.

'It's just a few things my father wanted me to hold onto. Obviously he couldn't have put them in worse hands.' I laughed at his comical tone.

'Maybe, but you caught them all didn't you?'

'I suppose.' He paused for a moment in thought. 'Would you like to go back inside? I'm sure you're getting a bit cold.'

I was actually, so I nodded and he got himself up. Making sure to be careful with the newly neat pile of papers. I stood up myself and straightened out my dress. The night was quite warm as sunder, evenings go, however I was in an evening dress with no sleeves and the sharpness of the breeze was nipping at my skin. As I went to walk my dress caught and I flew forwards, only to find myself suspended in mid-air. 'Careful Lady Aria!' I look to see that I'm actually in the arms of…? I don't even know his name. 'Thank you.' I gasp as I am propped back up onto my feet.

'You're heavier than you look.' He said with a smile.

'It's this dress!' I said with a mild irritancy.

'There are some strange things people make you wear. Last month I had to wear this lilac tunic to one of my father's meetings. I don't look good in lilac.' His voice sounded sympathetic. How could someone so ordinary know exactly what I felt like? 'So who do I have to thank for such empathy?' He looked at me with a radiant smile and just shook his head playfully. 'You have gone so long without asking, I really did hope you'd never ask. My name is Lein, my lady.' His tone was so sweet.

'Well Lein, I thank you for your friendliness.'

'You're most welcome. Shall we go inside?'

'We shall.' And with that we walked back onto the terrace and re-joined the festivities.


End file.
